jueves, julio 21, 2005

Ideales...

Andaba dandome una vuelta por los blogs y pues cai con este niño divino de http://jach-alvarez.blogspot.com/ y pues estaba leyendo sobre los villanos y como llegan a eso y Santo niño del cacahuatito (si es un pueblito perdido en algun lugar en Mexico) que voy a los coments (siempre me ha extrañado que no haya como unos 30 en la pagina de este niño porque sus temas son geniales ademas de super ligeros de digerir y de gran peso) En fin a lo que iva pos que me topo con esta respuesta y estoy con el ojo cuadrado.

Nava said...
El villano nace en el momento en que las circunstancias de la vida hacen más sencilla su existencia si olvida los ideales, sueños o motivos que hacen a esa persona ser heroe.Por eso cada vez hay menos heroes, pocos están dispuestos a enfrentar a la vida y es más sencillo dejarse llevar.

Y pues de ahi pense en que pues mi mama me ve como una estupida fracasada. Tiene razones de peso no niego que ella es la que me hace fuerte economicamente pero tambien es cierto pues que no me da chance de hacer las cosas a mi manera.

No quiere que deje mi trabajo actual porque trabajamos para la misma empresa y pues sinceramente trabajar uno o dos dias no me da para mis gastos ademas los de mi bb. Si, creo que afectaria en su trabajo si dejo la empresa asi como asi pero si doy mi renuncia adelantada pues no seria malo. Ademas creo que si es nocivo mi trabajo jajaja ya se que todos decimos eso pero es que mi Jefesito pues se la lleva. Su ultima pregunta fue si por tener sobrepeso no sentia asco y pepudio a mi misma. La verdad es que yo estoy contenta con ser como soy.

Admito que no tengo un cuerpesito de 90 60 90 y pues que parece mas un 90 60 revienta pero estoy viva. Pase por todas las enfermedades infantiles normales, problemas ortopedicos semiserios, problemas psicologicos de mitomania, cleptomania y autodenigracion. Y sali, yo venci, GANE y me siento feliz de ser yo.

Ya no soy esa chiquita que necesitaba zapatos ortopedicos todos los dias incluso para los vestidos de fiestas.

Ya no soy una mentirosa que se autoengañaba para no ver quien era realmente.

Ya no soy una ladrona para provarme que tengo los ovarios para hacer cosas fuertes.

Ya no publico relatos eroticos o ligo a cuanto estupidin pasar por el chat. Ahora respeto mi cuerpo emocional dejando mi intimidad para esa persona especial con cual quizas un dia se case.

Ya no tengo sacrificar mi verdadero yo para que alguien me quiera. Por fin despues de 2oytantos años de vida acepto que me quiero. Acepto que no soy perfecta y que esta bien no serlo. Acepto que no recuerdo fechas precisas pero ya tengo fechas especiales en mi historia.

Fui villana en algunas historias, fui tonta en otras, y para la historia mas importante en la cual participo soy mama. Y tristemente mi mama me ve incapaz de ser una buena mama para mi hija. No se si algun dia ganare su respeto y dejare de ser esa niña a la cual le dio mucho dinero pero poco cariño y casi nada de tiempo. Aunque ya es pasado y pasado esta ya hay perdon para esa historia. Mi papel principal es ser madre, despues pareja y luego hija. Mama disculpame pero yo no soy tu sueño de hija solo soy tu hija. Se que te paresco villana y lo siento porque no quiero lastimarte solo quiero ser Yo. Naci para ser yo con mis ideas, mis sueños. Hubiera querido que concidieramos en nuestras metas pero yo amo otras cosas. Me gusta cocinar y tener mi casa limpia aunque sea un cuchitril para ti para mi es un hogar.

A mi no me importa si la sala es de piel o una sala de segunda lo que me importa es que haya personas con quien comer. ¿Porque nunca comemos viendonos a los ojos? Lastima que ya no espero que aprueves mi vida. Hoy solo me conformo con la aprovacion de mi conciencia. Esto no significa que no te quiera solo que ya no vivo esperando tu aprovacion.

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